A Reading at A.B. Davis High, 1943

A memoir by Patricia (Pat) Cooper

Pacing the aisles of desks like a ship in full sail, silk dress rustling, corset faintly creaking, iron-grey hair stowed under a net, Miss Brower let us know from the start what she expected of a senior honors class: every one of us would take part in the Shakespeare readings, requiring no memorization, but a firm grasp of the plays, each of which would be discussed in class. Our first assignment would be “Macbeth”.

At first we resisted, mumbling or declaiming lines without regard to subtext or rhythm, but soon enough, in the face of her good-humored demands, began to do ‘the work’ and to enjoy it.  Everyone, that is, but Robert, star forward on our basketball team.  An accomplished word-swallower and inveterate sloucher, he’d been chosen (how come?) by our teacher to read Macbeth in the final battlefield confrontation with our very best Macduff.

As usual, Miss B. watched from the back of the room as valiant Macduff fired off his lines at this Macbeth, who had just began to wearily mutter his own speech when there came a great roar, “STOP AND THINK, Robert!  You are a KING!  You are a WARRIOR!  Rise up! RISE UP, MACBETH!”  Speechless, Robert stared at her a moment, then lowered his eyes, took a deep breath and slowly drew himself up to face Macduff, shouting loud and clear, “I will not YIELD to kiss the ground beneath young Malcolm’s FEET…” cutting a way for himself through the dense Shakespearean thicket.

Silence, then Miss B. led the applause, which evolved quickly into stomping as the actors smiled and smiled.  We had witnessed transcendence, and somehow recognized it as a rare and wonderful thing.  Ah, Miss Brower, brave Miss Brower, I thank you, even now.

 

Patricia (Pat) Cooper, a former playwright,  independent filmmaker and film executive at Paramount and Warner Bros. is Professor Emerita at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, where she was head of the Undergraduate Acting & Directing Area for many years.  Currently writing a memoir in bits and pieces, she is a passionate admirer of IRP, home of the brave and the free.

 

My Secret Game

A personal essay by Celeste Cheyney

I’m not sure exactly when I began to glance at the obituaries of public figures, featured daily in the Times. It must have been around the year when I reached age 65. Every month, the arrival of the social security check, although welcome, was a reminder of that inescapable fact of life – mortality! After a while it became clear that snacking on sunflower seeds, running three miles a day, and even swallowing a daily ration of green tea while holding my nose, could not guarantee that I’d be here forever. I started to wonder how much time I had left. I not only glanced at those obituaries; I began to play my secret game.

People read the obituaries for a variety of reasons. In her later years, my mother read them to keep up with news about friends. Colleagues of mine have used them when searching for rent-controlled apartments in the West Village and Chelsea. A friend who is a movie buff reads an obit all the way through when it’s about a childhood idol like Esther Williams, who passed away in June at age 91. He claims that reading about a life well lived inspires him to be a better person. I read the obituaries primarily to play my secret game.

Every morning when the Times is spread out over the kitchen table and I’ve had my fill of tribal murders in Afghanistan, floods in Europe, and wildfires in the Southwest, I’m ready to play. To keep my game secret I make sure nobody else is around. I take out the pencil and notepad carefully stashed in the cabinet next to the table. Then I turn to the obituaries of public figures and focus on the numbers. Of course I don’t count the age of the racing car driver who was killed in a crash at 31 or the rock star who died of an overdose in some Hollywood mansion at 23. I look at the ages of those who have exited in a more conventional way, then add the numbers and average them. If the average age is greater than mine ( which, thank goodness, it still usually is), I subtract my age from it and figure that’s how many years I have left.

When I play my secret game, some days are better than others. Some are actually quite reassuring. If the deceased featured on a given day have just died at 98, 96, and 91, which makes the average 95, I smile and blurt out “Yes!” They all been blessed with long, and probably satisfying, lives. I’m genuinely happy for them. More important, their longevity is good for ME. When I subtract my age from 95, it means I still have plenty of years left! (Naturally they’ll come with excellent health, general good fortune, and IRP membership to the very last day.) If the deceased have expired at 91, 89, 85 and 83, with an average of 87, which still leaves some margin of safety, I smile. When the numbers are 82, 79, and 73, which brings the average to 78, it’s getting a bit close but still brings a sigh of relief. However, when the numbers are 70, 66, 53 and 51, which averages out to 60, I frown and blurt out “No!” How sad that these people have died so young when others get to live so long. It just isn’t fair. I feel a bit guilty about having outlived them, but grateful that I’m still here.

Of course a long life is not always a blessing. Poor health and other problems that may be beyond our control can actually make it a curse, but let’s not talk about that.

On a good day it feels as if playing my secret game might actually offer some protection against mortality, complete with an array of other benefits. I remind myself that it’s only a game, hope for the best, and try to enjoy each day to the fullest.

 

 

Celeste Cheyney, while working with a remarkable woman who was Jewish, British and Deaf, was inspired to write a memoir about the woman’ experience as a child in England during World War II. “Making Sense of It All” was published by Gallaudet University Press. Celeste has also been inspired by writing classes at the IRP.

Living with Joy

A memoir by Celeste Cheyney

It was June 1962, and I had absolutely no interest in what was expected of me – that I stay within 100 miles of my family in Philadelphia, find someone to marry, and settle down and have kids. I simply had to escape that terrible fate. Armed with a B.A. in philosophy from Penn and the ability to type forty words a minute, I joined three students heading west to Berkeley. Being 3,000 miles away should work.

After a week of sitting in a cramped 1959 VW Beetle all day and dozing in our sleeping bags under the stars wherever it seemed safe, we arrived. For a few days we stayed with someone’s friend and I lined up a job as a clerk-typist at the university and registered for a course in 19th century philosophy at Cal Extension. I was ready for my new life. All I needed was a place to live.

I met Joy by posting a notice on a bulletin board at the Coop Supermarket. She called, and that evening we sipped cappuccinos at Café Mediterranean on Telegraph Avenue. An energetic, buxom blonde of 22 with a gravelly voice and intense almond-shaped blue eyes, Joy’s name was right for her as she certainly had lots of joie de vivre. She said she got her eyes from her Russian émigré father who died when she was three. Joy was working on her M.A. in French, which she intended to teach, and she, too, had no interest in marriage or kids. We both liked folk music. Her favorite album, which she loved to dance to, was Village Dances of Bulgaria. My two favorites were Songs of the Lincoln Brigade and The Weavers at Carnegie Hall. She loved to experiment in the kitchen, a definite plus since I had never learned to cook. It was a perfect match. For $100 a month each we would share five rooms on the second floor of a frame house in the flat part of town near the bay. I envisioned quiet evenings with Joy reading Balzac or Stendhal while I deciphered Nietzsche or John Stuart Mill. I had no idea of how unusual living with her would be.

It was still pre-hippie Berkeley, a few years before the Aquarian Age with its anything–goes mentality. Well, Joy was ahead of her time. It was a good thing we had two bedrooms, because the kitchen was not the only room in which she loved to experiment. While we arranged the worn chartreuse tufted arm chair and matching couch we had bought at the Salvation Army, Joy mentioned casually that she had slept with over forty men. She liked variety and preferred men from exotic places. I was horrified but tried not to let it show. This is a business and she expects me to be part of it was all I could think. I had visions of lusty men pounding impatiently on my bedroom door.

Joy sensed exactly what my fears were and tried her best to reassure me. She never did this for money. She did it simply because it was a great way to celebrate life. Nobody would get hurt. After all, she was on the Pill, those unmentionable diseases would never touch her, and she was not the vindictive type who would tell anyone’s wife. It was clear that the celebration was going to continue. She would have to keep her men away from me, I told her emphatically.

Joy had another unusual idea. It showed that studying French culture had gone to her head. Two evenings a week we would have a salon, with her as the host, or salonniere, and our participants would be mostly male.

Our salon even came with dinner. I can still see some of our guests sitting at the large round oak table we had found for $10.00 at a garage sale. I can picture most clearly slight, swarthy Ahmed, a chemist from Turkey, in his embroidered tunic. I also remember dashiki-clad, ebony-skinned Okwamy from the Congo, who was working on a doctorate in math. I can still see Laszlo, the intense blonde engineer from Hungary, who always had a slide rule in the pocket of his shirt.

We and our guests poured wine from a huge jug and devoured the tasty dishes Joy had prepared with me as her willing assistant. She loved French cooking and we often had Coquilles St Jacques or Coq au Vin, but Turkish cuisine was her favorite. It was not unusual to have eggplant stuffed with lamb, tomatoes, peppers and herbs or trout cooked with pine nuts, currants, herbs, and sweet spices.

Joy said the time when salons were prevalent is often called “the age of conversation.”

Though it was not always intellectual, we had plenty of that. As the salonniere it was Joy’s responsibility to choose the topic and set the tone and that she did with great skill.

I remember one evening when the topic was life in America versus life in the country of origin. Everyone was grateful to be here, but missed something from home. The comments made me question my assumptions and want to see more of the world. I can recall what everyone said, and my own thoughts that followed.

Ahmed believed that using price tags was ridiculous. He missed watching his father sell rugs at his shop in Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar. The merchant and customer sat and bargained patiently over tiny cups of Turkish tea, and both parties thoroughly enjoyed the game. Hmmm…..Their way of doing business does sound like a lot more fun than ours.

Okwamy was saddened by the brutal murder of the Prime Minister Patrice Lamumba and by all the turmoil in the Congo. He missed being there to fight for a new nation free of exploitation and strife. Hmmm…..Maybe I should join that new agency, the Peace Corps.

“Lecherous Lazslo” earned that name the night he arrived late, found Joy occupied, and said I “would do.” (He rushed out when I threatened to call the police.) Poor Lazslo missed the arrangement he’d had back home before the Revolution – one apartment for his mistress and one for his wife. Wow!…..Nobody in Philadelphia would ever do that, but maybe in Budapest it’s OK.

I never figured out how Joy decided who was going to be the fortunate one to spend   the night; she handled that with great discretion. When a salon was over, she and the chosen one retired to her bedroom while I cleaned up the kitchen. I tiptoed to my room and curled up with Nietzsche or John Stuart Mill, ignoring the sounds of ecstasy from behind the door.

I tried to figure out what motivated Joy. Did she behave that way because she had lost her father at the age of three? I asked myself other questions. Was being so promiscuous really right? Was it as safe as she claimed?

At the end of the spring semester, Joy received her M.A. When the offer arrived to teach French at a college in New Orleans, she was thrilled. Joy turned on Village Dances of Bulgaria and twisted, skipped and tapped her way around the living room, her eyes glowing.

After that year, Joy and I never saw each other again. However, through the years we’ve exchanged letters at Christmas. For decades Joy celebrated life in the usual way in her bedroom. Until a few years ago she still had a salon. Her letters still bring back fond memories of that year of living with Joy.

I never joined the Peace Corps, but I did spend a few summers in Europe on $5.00 a day. I bargained over tea for a tribal rug in Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar, and wondered about couples’ marital arrangements while strolling on the Chain Bridge in Budapest. Eventually, I was living within 100 miles of Philadelphia and celebrating life with my husband and two kids, which wasn’t such a terrible fate after all.

 

Celeste Cheyney, while working with a remarkable woman who was Jewish, British and Deaf, was inspired to write a memoir about the woman’ experience as a child in England during World War II. “Making Sense of It All” was published by Gallaudet University Press. Celeste has also been inspired by writing classes at the IRP.

The Breath of Innocence

A short story by Eileen Brener

“We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because…  .”   My brother, sisters, and I bellowed out that song from the back of the station wagon on trips with my parents.  Long before the requirement of seat belts, the four of us with backs against the tailgate, followed our tradition of backseat singing; we always began and ended with our favorite—the one that boasted that we–the Grahams–were here in Atlanta, Georgia, in the early 1950s.

Our family had been here from Atlanta’s beginning, building stores downtown and houses on Peachtree Street fifteen years before Sherman burned most of them; then after the war we rebuilt them.  More recently our grandfather had developed a lawn treatment called “Feed Don’t Weed” that revolutionized lawn care and proved very popular in Atlanta where the average yard was a half-acre of rolling green.  Following the lead of the admired DuPont Corporation, we—Grandfather Patrick Graham, our uncle and father—considered our product as contributing to “better living though chemistry” for our weed-killer kept the residential sections of Atlanta beautiful.

People knew us: our handsome uncle who ran the lawn business, my athletic dad, a former Olympic swimmer, my mom, a scion of the venerable Candler family who’ve marketed Coca Cola for generations, and we four—new bubbles in the heady family drink.  We were sometimes featured in advertisements drinking Cokes around our family pool— Patty and Joey, my older sister and brother, diving into the water, my twin sister, Sue, and myself, Sara, splashing each other and our parents.  We were a lucky bunch, people said, and we agreed.  That is, until the word lucky no longer applied, and people shook their heads when they thought of us.

 

We lived in a rambling yellow cottage wrapped by a porch cluttered with bicycles and skates, white wicker rockers and baskets of ferns.  Our own yard, the deepest darkest weed-free green, was maintained by our devoted long-time gardener, Old Amos, so called to distinguish him from his son, Young Amos, also a gardener, but the young man died quite suddenly a few years ago.   The cause of his death remained a mystery.  He had spent an ordinary day working with his father in our yard.  Then he went home and collapsed.

Every Sunday our family had an adventure:  an outing we all participated in; it could be a visit to a museum, a ball game, or a movie.   On the day I’ll never forget, our adventure was a climb up Stone Mountain, the granite monolith about twenty miles south of town that looms over neighboring farmland.    We brought a picnic lunch to enjoy at the very top.  Our parents, Alice and Andy, had made this climb many times, Patty and Joey, now ten and eight, had climbed the mountain twice, but it was a first for Sue and me who were five and whose legs were finally deemed long enough and strong enough for the mile uphill hike.

As we pulled into the parking lot, we crescendo-ed into a final chorus of our driving song: “We’re here because we’re here … .”

“Hush, dears,” Mama pleaded, being seen rather than heard as she leaned toward us over the front seat of the station wagon.  Patty and Joey shushed but Sue and I gave it another round because we could.  We were accustomed to receiving only smiles from Mama who was proud of our twinship and regarded it as additional evidence of our family’s good fortune.

“It’s a straight-up walk, steep as can be, but from the top you can see miles—even as far as Atlanta,” Patty said.

“What if I fall down, can I stop before I get to the bottom,” Sue asked.

“Walk in front of Mama,” Joey advised, and we smiled for we all shared his faith.

On the day of the picnic nobody fell straight to the bottom, but we twins jockeyed to stay directly in front of our mother.  Once Joey slipped on loose pebbles and started sliding but Daddy caught him right away.   Finally we got to the top where the cool breeze carried a faint sound of bells ringing.

“This mountain sings like the one we climbed in Switzerland where it was the cows’ bells ringing in the distance that we heard,” Daddy said to Mama, reaching to take her hand.  Remembering this day in later years, I’m always struck by how young and innocent my parents seem.

“This mountain looks like pictures of the moon to me, “ Joey said, surveying the granite dome, “just a bald rock.”

“But look at the pools and the little fairy shrimp,” Mama pointed to a puddle in an indentation in the rock where tiny, translucent creatures were moving.

“Oh, they’re all twins and they swim upside down,” Sue commented, “Can we take them home?”

“They live here where their food and family are,” Mama answered.

“I’m a fairy shrimp,” Sue danced between the small pools, “I’m here with my food and family.  Please, let’s take some home.”

“We could dip a cup in there and catch them.” I said, picking up on Sue’s idea.  Our thoughts were so similar we would often finish each other’s sentences.

“Ok, Sara, get clean Tupperware with a top and dip it into the pool.  Get some of the stuff floating around because that’s what they eat.”  Daddy said.

The next morning the fairy shrimp in their Tupperware on the kitchen counter weren’t swimming upside down anymore.  Sue and I wondered if the shrimp had eaten every thing they liked in the water and needed something more.   I had a brainstorm:  we could give the shrimp some “Feed not Weed.”  When Sue agreed, I went to the carport where a gallon jar of the green liquid was shelved.  I poured a glass full and carried it to the kitchen.  Sue and I watched with fascination as the water in the Tupperware immediately turned a deep aqua.

“I might have used too much,” I said, wiping the liquid from my hands and arms on my shirt.

“They don’t like it.  Look they are wiggling on the very bottom.”  Said Sue, whose eyes were at counter level just even with the bottom of the container.  “Let’s pour it out and give them new water.”

Sue climbed up on a chair, pushed me out of the way and took over the project of catching the small creatures.  Reaching down into the green mixture, she splashed the liquid over her face and chest.  It left green spots all over her.

Then Patty came in.  “What are you guys doing?  Is that yard food?”

“Trying to get these shrimp out of this water.” We said in unison.

“You guys are going to get it!” she said.  “We can’t mess with that stuff.”

“Help us save these little ones.” Sue said.

Patty got a spoon and filled a clean jar with water; she began to lift the small fish from the green to the clear water.  Some seemed to be swimming.

Old Amos, our gardener, poked his head into the kitchen and asked, “Who’s been fooling with this yard food?”  Then he noted the three of us with hands and arms stained green.

“Lordy, you chillen, get away from that stuff.  That stuff take my breath away, make my hands itch, and work on my nerves.”  He walked into the den calling,

“Miz Alice, Miz Alice.”

 

Mama, always calm, walked into the kitchen, caught sight of us, and in one motion grabbed us all and rushed us outside.  Old Amos turned on the hose and began spraying our hands and arms.  Sue started coughing and her face became swollen and red.  Mama turned pale, picked up Sue and carried her inside.  She put Sue into the bathtub.  Patty and I, who felt itchy on our hands and arms, had no other complaints.

Dr. Johnston was called.  Suddenly everything turned upside down.  Daddy arrived; he, Mama and Sue left for the hospital.  Only Mama and Daddy came home.

 

Here my life divided into chapters.  The lucky part ended that morning when Sue had a fatal reaction to the “Feed Don’t Weed” we had been using.  The doctor thought she swallowed some of it and the poison had caused her to go into shock; she couldn’t breathe and she died.   The unlucky chapters—my life without Sue—began that day.   I remember sleeping in her bed and wearing her clothes that fall.  I started first grade that year and I remember thinking that Sue was starting in heaven.  I didn’t know which was worst.  I stared out the classroom window at the colors of leaves and wondered if she missed me in heaven..  I couldn’t begin to explain my grief and beneath it my perpetual sense of guilt.

That year we moved from the yellow cottage with the wraparound porch into a standard white clapboard, black-shuttered house—its rooms often chilly.   Patty went off to boarding school leaving Joey and me to sit like adults in the back seat of the station wagon.  Rather than shouting out songs from the tailgate, we now spoke in soft tones with our parents.

Our father and uncle, devastated after losing Sue, were shocked when they realized their product could cause untold harm.  They closed the business.   A decade after our tragedy, everyone was talking about Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring and the hazards of DDT but my family already knew too much about toxic chemicals.

 

Like a great tapestry, the story of Atlanta continues to grow, but we—the Grahams–have lost the sense that we occupy a special place in that picture.  Looking back we see the years of Sue’s life as our own Eden where life glowed rich with promise.  When she died, our family tapestry was ripped apart and rewoven–drab in color and design.   Years later, I still think about life in the yellow cottage and I know the others do too, but somehow we never talk about it.

 

Eileen Brener:  As an appellate court staff attorney in my pre-IRP days, I wrote proposed opinions and occasionally taught—lord help me—legal writing.  Now, thanks to IRP, I’ve left lawyerly letters for fiction—dark stories and light poems.

Subway Strategist

A personal essay by Ivy Berchuck

In recent years over a hundred people have acknowledged that I’m getting old. I object on principle, but the evidence can’t be disputed.

These finger pointers are not mean or ill spirited. On the contrary, they are kind and they smile as they single me out for preferential treatment. Regardless of the crowding in the rush hour subway I won’t be standing for long. A seat will be offered with a deferential gesture of concern for me, an elder who has been unwillingly identified.

It’s not as if I didn’t look in the mirror in the morning. I did, carefully and was satisfied. With the right lighting and before I put on my glasses there wasn’t a wrinkle anywhere. Add a touch of makeup, walk briskly to the subway and I am ready to start my day.

 

It is the tail end of the rush hour. No seats are available , but there is room to stand without being jostled. Some of the seated heads are bobbing in half slumber…That bunch will surely ignore my presence. The well dressed types reading the Wall Street Journal are above noticing the likes of me. Whatever their mothers taught them about courtesy departed when they entered the hedge fund crowd. I scan the others and within minutes one of the seats is mine. I’m full of gracious thank yous, but my mood is ambivalent. Didn’t the woman standing near me look as decrepit as I did? I’m being typecast…Face it I’m an old lady.

 

In the beginning I tried to deflect the attention .by registering surprise “Who me?…”How kind of you, but are you sure that you’re getting off soon?”…and then the worst thing I ever said  …”Do I look that awful?” The young man laughed. His response was wonderful…” You look fine…I’m just not from New York. .I always give seats to women.”…Notice…no mention of my being an older woman.

So I sit dawn and then the good feelings start. The train is now fuller, and the standees look uncomfortable. I take out my book and have a pleasant ride from Forest Hills into Manhattan….

 

Like dealing with grief, there are stages to this life situation. After the stage of humiliation comes acceptance. No matter how favorable was my response to the morning mirror, I now accept the deterioration of my looks between home and subway station. I appreciate  my good fortune getting a seat and have begun to love New Yorkers more than ever.

So now I have arrived at Stage three and this is the most interesting….developing a strategy.         Once I have accepted the designation conferred by the strap hanging community, I want to ensure the fastest success on every trip. Now when I scan the seats, there is demographic research in my head, a compilation of data from all the seats awarded prior to this trip. I want to stand near candidates likely to make me an offer. Best bet are twenty- something Latino men. This group has proven that they have enduring love and respect for their mothers and grandmothers. As soon as there is eye contact one will jump up and I slither into position. Middle aged African American men are an alternate choice, but only if they have not become part of the Wall Street Journal crowd. And I must not forget older Asian women, because they’re not on the train for the long haul, but will get off in Jackson Heights to do their shopping at the ethnic markets….and that is just one stop away. Younger well dressed women will never give a seat, but poor, disheveled types not only offer seats, they manage to dispense coins to the unfortunates looking for a handout.

 

So where do I take it from here? Is there another stage? No, but I can put my training towards some public good. With all those baby boomers reaching retirement age there is an entirely new population in need of my advice. And I am the one to do it. So watch for my lecture series on “ How to age successfully while riding the subway” The only problem is, where do you think I can teach it?

 

Ivy Berchuck wrote stories in high school and college and forgot to continue until sherediscovered the joy of writing in the IRP. The support of participants in the Memoir study group has encouraged her to forge ahead.


Mother of the Bride

A memoir by Ivy Berchuck

There are non-verbal messages that pass between my mother and myself, so I watch her carefully. Her face registers no more than the blue milkiness of her blind eyes.    Nothing is said. We just sit there in her kitchen, waiting.

I had been trying to tell her about the wedding. I try again. “I thought that you liked him, mother. I thought that you were happy for me, or at least relieved that I’m getting married again.” She clears her throat, a preamble to serious talk. Our small wedding is two weeks away. His children, my children coming in from colleges, even the one in London, flying home. Just family, champagne in the garden, a simple supper to follow.

She speaks. “I’m surprised at your lack of consideration.” I’m stunned. Where is this coming from? “Yes?” I say, so she will know that I am listening. She continues, “It does not matter that you are now middle-aged. You are still a bride, and I have never been introduced to his father. It’s not appropriate behavior, not the way things should be done” I don’t believe I’m hearing this. I’m almost in my fifties. Irving is a fifty-five year old widower. His father lives in a senior residence where half the people are in wheelchairs. “Mother”, I reply as calmly as I can, “I’ll talk it over with Irving and we’ll see what we can do.”

He is already home when I walk in the door. “I have a problem with my mother”. He looks up from his newspaper. ”What’s the matter? Is she sick?” “No, nothing like that” I respond. “She’s upset because I’m marrying you and she hasn’t met your father before the wedding” He looks at me incredulously.  After a moment of reflection he says, “You know something, she feels overlooked. I can understand that. Let me call Pop and tell him we’re bringing her over on Sunday to meet him.” Then he laughs. “Actually, this makes me feel young and groom-like.”

Now he’s into the spirit of it. He tells me later that that Jake really liked and understood the idea. “But,” I say, “What about her blindness? Does Jake know? How well can he handle it?” Irving reassures me Jake understands. “ He thinks it is great that she hasn’t given up because of it. He likes her already.”

I call my mother. Her mood is conciliatory now that I’ve remedied the lapse in etiquette.  She’ll be ready at 11:00 on Sunday morning. When we arrive she’s sitting in the kitchen, coat on, handbag in her lap.  Irving takes her arm. “I see that you’re ready, Jeannette. You look wonderful.” Her smile radiates happiness.

 

The senior residence is affiliated with a hospital. The grey façade communicates hospital more than residence. She can’t see that, but her nose registers disdain as we enter the lobby. We take the elevator to the fourth floor lounge where ambulatory clients visit with their guests. Jake is what Irving will look like in thirty years. He holds himself straight and has a winsome, crooked smile. Introductions take place. Jake takes my mother’s hand , gives her a hug and mumbles some endearments in Yiddish.  She laughs and is charmed. We all sit down and Irving tries to extend the conversation, but Jake is in no mood to lose control.

“Jeannette”, he says, “How would you like to see our dining room?” “Why, that would be wonderful Jake” she says. For a moment I think he doesn’t understand about the blindness. I tap her shoulder, our code for standing up. She rises and Jake takes her arm and puts it through his. They take off down the hallway. She is the coquette, laughing at whatever he says. Irving whispers to me. “I’m sorry this wasn’t our idea. It was the right thing to do.”

 

I’m thinking . On trips with my mother to art museums she makes you describe every detail of every painting. She’ll drive that old man crazy. They are gone for a long time. When they return he is telling her stories about Irving always being the smartest boy in the class. She responds with a catalogue of my awards from PS206 onwards.  He walks her to a chair and I touch her arm to indicate that the seat is directly behind her. She sits and starts to describe the dining room. “What a place.” she says,  “Like an elegant hotel. Perfect taste, with long drapes in a floral pattern against an ivory background. And the tablecloths echo the colors of the flowers. A restful, beautiful room.”

On Jake’s face I read confusion. He doesn’t know my mother. How she asks leading questions and remembers everything you’ve said. How she embellishes your words and makes them her own. How she once gave a lecture to her blind elderly group on a Picasso exhibit, bringing tears to the eyes of the social workers.

Finally, Jake can’t control himself. “Irving,” he blurts out, “I thought you said she was blind.” I shrivel in pain. Irving looks embarrassed, but not mother. Her face is illuminated by triumph. Once again, she has vanquished the blindness. Sitting upright and proud in the chair, she smiles. The mother of the bride.

 

Ivy Berchuck wrote stories in high school and college and forgot to continue until she rediscovered the joy of writing in the IRP. The support of participants in the Memoir study group has encouraged her to forge ahead.

 

Clotheslines Don’t Lie

A memoir by James Avitabile

I might have been about five, when I noticed ladies walking in our neighborhood who dressed differently than my mother. I may have seen them before, but this time I really noticed them. They didn’t seem to belong on the street. They looked like statues I saw in church that had come alive. “Mommy, who are those ladies dressed all in black?”

“They are angels that God put on earth to teach us to love God and to love one another.”

“How does God pick them, Mommy?”

“He’s God, Juny, He just knows who to pick.”

I came to believe that these figures dressed in black were very special. I called them earth angels, but I felt they weren’t human like me. They looked as if they had no bodies underneath their long black dresses and no hair under their veils. Clothes and veils weighed them down and the heavy beads around their waists and the big iron crosses around their necks anchored them to earth so they wouldn’t fly away.

If there were no bodies underneath their clothes, what made some of them so plump, others skinny, some short, others tall? Shouldn’t these angels look alike? All be the same size? Wouldn’t God want it that way? I guess I thought God would want everything neat and precise and orderly. That’s how I was. After I played with some of my toys, I would put them back in the same place on the shelves where they lived. That’s how I liked my world: neat and tidy.

“Mommy, why did God make these angels different sizes and shapes?”

“You gotta ask God, Juny. God can do anything he wants because he’s God.”

How would I ask God? I couldn’t write to him. I could only write my name and the letters of the alphabet. That’s about all I could do. So I knew I couldn’t ask God anything. I’d have to ask my mother.

“Mommy, do angels eat food like we eat? Can they drink wine with peaches like Nunu makes?”

“No Juny, they’re not people like us. They’re the brides of Christ.”

“If they’re brides, why do they wear black?”

“God wanted it that way.”

I wasn’t getting anywhere. But the image of these angels garbed in long black dresses with their heads covered in veils painted a picture in my head that fascinated me like my paper dolls fascinated me.

“Mommy, are there paper dolls of nuns?”

“Oh, Juny, Mommy doesn’t know. If I find a book of nun paper dolls, I’ll buy it for you, if it doesn’t cost a lot of money. Right now, I have to finish sewing a new sweat band in this hat. Go play outside in the back yard where I can see you.”

“I don’t think nun paper dolls would be fun to play with, Mommy. Save the money for the ones that wear happy gowns in pretty colors and have beautiful hair.”

As I climbed the steps to play under the grape arbor I heard my mother say, “Pretty soon you’ll be going to released time classes at Sacred Heart. Maybe you’ll understand more when the nuns teach you about God.”

That fall I started kindergarten at PS 45. Being an only child, I liked playing with the other boys and girls. The teachers were regular people. They wore clothes like my mother’s; happy clothes of many colors with flowers and designs that made me know they were earth people and not earth angels. They made learning and playing so much fun. I liked school a lot and looked forward to each morning. Smiles greeted me as I entered my classroom. Kindergarten flew by. So did the first grade. The second grade got more serious. Miss Aberlin never wore any makeup or perfume. She never wore stockings either. She had an awkward smell about her like she didn’t take a bath every day. She wore drab clothes and sometimes she wore the same dress two days in a row. She never smiled. She had a witch’s nose. She never laughed. For me, when a teacher laughed with us, whatever she was teaching me stayed with me.

Something else happened in the second grade. On Wednesday afternoons I went on a bus to Sacred Heart School to learn about God from his brides in black. Like Miss Aberlin, they didn’t laugh. Their foreheads seemed forever creased. Maybe the starched frame that held the veil crunched their faces or maybe they were just plain angry. You could never get those creases out and in time I could see them getting deeper and more permanent like a scar. Shouldn’t they be happy being brides of Christ? They didn’t look happy. Maybe being happy for them was a mortal sin. They would preach to us that we would go to hell and feel the fires and pain of hell whenever we sinned. I was seven. I didn’t know what sin was. They didn’t teach me to love God. They taught me to fear hell. I remember once when one of my classmates looked out the window, Sister Veronica raised the cross around her neck as if to strike the boy and screamed “I’ll paralyze you with this cross of Christ if you don’t pay attention to what I am saying.” I never forgot what she said. For me at seven she made God a demon to fear and not to love.

The brisk winds of March were beginning to soften. I was going to make my First Holy Communion. I would be dressed all in white: short pants, knee high socks, shoes, jacket, shirt and tie and a white arm band in the shape of a cross tied around my arm.  The girls would be in white fluffy and frilly dresses and wear white veils and look to me like the real brides of Christ. A sea of angry nuns with cricket clickers told us when to kneel, when to genuflect and when to sit.

I had to spend a whole week at Sacred Heart School with the stern sisters in preparation for the perplexing ceremony on that coming Saturday. I hated it. We couldn’t laugh or talk or we’d get slapped. During that week I came to learn that those weren’t ‘earth’s angels’ but were really hell’s angels: mean spirited and willingly hurtful.

The week dragged on. At lunch we were allowed to go out into the school yard and play. It felt so good to breathe the fresh air because the classrooms were stiflingly hot and stuffy. The windows seemed bolted shut and we had to be doubled up with the parochial school students. We sat at desks labeled and carved with boredom and fury and beyond further use.

“God is testing you.” That’s what grim Sister Charlotte said with her deeply rutted forehead. And during one of the very first lunch breaks in the schoolyard—breathing in as much free fresh air as I could—revelation and reality bombarded me. It was the first time I had ever been in Sacred Heart’s back yard, where the nuns lived in a yellow-stuccoed convent. A chain link fence no more than four feet high separated the nuns’ home from the rear yard. It was very sunny but cold that day. The winds kicked up and as they did I saw something that struck me. I saw that a clothes line was attached to the wall of the convent. Clothes were rebelling violently on that double line, flopping back and forth. It looked like the ropes would snap. But it wasn’t the flopping that caught my eye but what was flopping. I saw things on that clothes line that I had seen on ours.

When my mother told me that nuns are angels without bodies, I had believed her. Then why were brassieres of all sizes and flesh colored underpants big enough to fit two of my mother in them and girdles furiously trying to break free from their clothes-pinned bondage? I searched deeper. Whose clothes were these? Did women with bodies live in the same house as the bodiless nuns? I couldn’t figure this out. All afternoon, I stared at Sister Patricia pounding into us more about the consequences of sin. I checked out her hands. I had never paid close attention to them before. They were real. I looked down and noticed she was wearing laced up black sensible shoes like my grandmother’s. If she had had no feet, why would she need shoes? Oh my Gad, I gasped, nuns weren’t angels without bodies, they were like us. They had bodies. I thought a little more. If they’re the ones that wear what was drying on the clothesline, then they did what we do. They eat; they pee; they poop. Clothes lines don’t lie!

 

James Avitabile: Thank you Carmen for helping me find my voice and thank you Alix, Ivy, Leyla, Tom and Victoria for encouraging me to speak with it.