The Female Gaze

by Susie Herman

I am seated in 19C on the flight from Seattle to JFK when 19B, and his wife, 19A, approach. She is stunning and blond, her hair in a ponytail. She immediately places earbuds in her ears and enters the world of whatever for the duration of the flight. He, between us, pulls out his laptop, and is immediately immersed in his investments or someone else’s. Sometimes he switches over to his cellphone for texts, and sometimes for a game of solitaire. For the duration of the flight, five hours, he is always connected, doing something with one gadget or another. He never speaks a word to his wife. And yet, between them, there is no apparent tension. I notice a screenshot of her on his phone. Her hair is not in a ponytail. She is smiling and elegant. 19AB both wear wedding bands- his simple gold; hers simple but with a few diamonds. Midway through the flight he puts a sweater over his summer polo. He is eye candy for sure, right beside me. The fact that he barely registers my presence makes it even more possible to invent him.

He isn’t young; greying at the temples, tanned. His black eyeglasses give him an Alec Baldwin look. His features are absolutely perfect. Maybe more George Clooney. He sits there in 19B, never reacting to the toddler steadily crying behind us in row 20; impervious to distraction; hardly ever looking any further than his devices. What is his life like? Does he live in Seattle or NYC or somewhere else? Are there children, by now grown? A mistress? He focuses only on his cyberspace, alert, not daydreaming. But surprisingly, in the last 20 minutes of flight, he pulls out a book– the unlikely title: The Years by Annie Ernaux. What a choice for handsome laptop man! Did his wife recommend it? Men who live in their heads rarely read fiction or memoir, but I could be wrong. He isn’t very far along – will he finish it somewhere, on another flight, in another life?

 

Susie Herman: I often write about or photograph the ordinary moments in life. I think of those moments as unexpected theater. I thought this piece would bring some lightness in these dark days.