by Robert N. Chan
Like to be or not to be, some conundrums are so consequential that they’re truly Shakespearean.
I’m not struggling with a mere dilemma, but rather a confounding quadrilemma: whether ‘tis nobler to swim in the ocean, play tennis, kayak or swim in the bay?
I tentatively decide to swim to Ocean Beach. Who could blame me if I happen to surreptitiously glance at a bikini-clad teenaged girl or two on the walk back along the beach? Pretty much everyone but never mind.
Like all decisions of great moment, this one is data-dependent. Luckily, I have all necessary info at my fingertips.
The weather app that came with my phone warns that wind will gust from the south at 20 MPH. That will make the ocean too rough for a long swim as I have an unreasoning prejudice against swallowing large quantities of salt water.
Tennis? Not with 95% humidity causing a real feel of 94°F.
That whittles it down to kayaking or swimming in the bay.
Needing more data, I check AccuWeather, which says the wind will shift to west-northwest. So much for kayaking or a bay swim. However, it predicts the real-feel will drop to the mid-80’s°F.
So I’ll arrange a tennis game, after I confirm conditions on my third weather app, the Weather Channel. Ay, there’s the rub, a 75% chance of severe thunderstorms with lightning potentially turning me into a large charcoal briquet and, worse, gusting winds blowing tennis balls off-course.
Truth is dead. Facts demoted to squishy opinions. We claim we trust science but can’t agree on what science says. But the weather? Doesn’t it all come from the National Weather Service?
Our phones, though, have made everything oh so much easier. Mine resolves my quadrilemma: I must spend the day monitoring my weather apps.
The founder of a boutique New York City law firm, Robert N. Chan has litigated for fifty years with applying success. He’s written ten published novels of unparalleled brilliance which may account for their miniscule sales.